


11 Reasons Why

by ChanSooBoat



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 13 Reasons Why au, Bullying, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry again, M/M, Rape, Self-Hatred, Suicide, chanyeol being clay cuz why not, decide to make this cuz why not, jk cuz i'm hyped of 13rw s3, kinda spoilers so don't read if you hate spoilers, kris is a good guy but i made him the rapist, luhan is such an angel i know but i made him a jerk, past relationship kaisoo, past relationship sebaek, past relationship xiuhan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-09-26 07:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20386177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChanSooBoat/pseuds/ChanSooBoat
Summary: “Hey, it’s Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo” the voice said on the tape.“holy shit” Chanyeol swears, eyes wide. He definitely recognize this voice even if he didn’t mention his name.“Don’t adjust your… whatever device you’re hearing this on. It’s me, alive and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore. And this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you’re listening to this tape, you’re one of the reasons why….”A week after his friend, Do Kyungsoo died because of suicide. Chanyeol found 11 tapes of the reasons why he ends his life.(13 Reasons Why AU)





	1. The Tapes

Chanyeol just took several books that he needed for his next class and closed his locker. He turn his head to someone who had his back on him, making him stare cause the person now looking back at him with a pretty weak smile. Chanyeol blinks, only to realize that he was hallucinating. The person wasn’t there at all. And would never be there, again.

He then turn his attention towards a locker. A locker that has been decorated by sticky notes that having sad messages in it. The locker also have a portrait of the owner with his perfect heart shaped lips smiling. Also some paper flowers on it probably made by some students to make the locker prettier. There’s two girls that Chanyeol didn’t know their names. One of the girls said with (probably) fake sympathy “he’s so pretty…” then answered by her friend “totally” then they took a selfie with the locker. Yepp, definitely fake sympathy. Mentioning hasthag #NeverForget to use as a caption. Chanyeol then looking at them while the girls walk away.

He’s now in front of the locker. Staring at the picture of the owner. It’s just a picture but he looks so perfect, beautiful. Just then a person standing next to him. Kim Jongin. “what the hell are you doing?” ask Jongin cold.

Chanyeol look at him. “nothing, I just—”

“looking for something?” Jongin cut him off.

“what would I be looking for?” Chanyeol asked back, confused.

“you tell me” Jongin challenging, staring at Chanyeol then moving closer to him.

“do you even know my name?” Chanyeol asked again, unsure, cause Kim Jongin is one of the popular jocks so he’s unsure if he knows someone like Chanyeol.

“of course I do, Chanyeol” Jongin smirk towards Chanyeol. He thinks Chanyeol’s question is disgustingly funny.

Just then their conversation interrupted by Mr. Choi. “guys, second bell” he said, obviously trying to tell them both that they need to get into the class immediately. But Jongin didn’t do as he told, not immediately. He’s moving closer to Chanyeol, voice whispering. “you’re not that innocent, Park. I don’t give a shit what he says”. He then staring coldly at Chanyeol.

“Mr. Kim, let’s go. Get to homeroom” the teacher said reminding Jongin one more time. Chanyeol only looking at him when he started to walk away to class. “you too, Mr. Park” he also reminds Chanyeol. He stares at the picture one more time before started to go to class.

“so, there are a number of ways to get help, if you need it…” the teacher said, but Chanyeol pay his attention to someone showing her phone to Tao, which only get an understanding smile from Tao as a response.

“or if a friend does, ok? And all of this information is on the board outside of my room, or outside of the main office” the teacher keep saying. “it’s on the SM High homepage—“

“Mrs. Lee, is it possible that we can be done with this?” one of the students cut the teacher off. Chanyeol staring at that student in disbelief. _”What did she said? Done with this? If she’s the one who died because she didn’t get help, would she still say the same thing?”_ Chanyeol thought.

“I mean it’s been over a week, shouldn’t we just move on?” by saying that, she gets some cold responses from whole students in the room, “seriously?” they said.

“okay everyone, thankyou” the teacher said trying to calm the students.

“seriously, okay, I know it’s tragic… but I don’t wanna keep being reminded of it all the time… it’s depressing” the girl trying again.

“we’re never done with this, Mrs. Kang. We just watch important signs that someone you care for, might need help. I mean, are they withdrawing from family and friends? Is there a change in their appearance? Are they having trouble in—“ the teacher’s voice fades out as Chanyeol staring at an empty seat not far from him, where the memory comes back.

_ A small figure writing on his note quietly while listening to the teacher. He’s always the same, the guy who would take notes and listen to the tacher. Trying so hard to have a good grade. Only today he looks different. He looks a little fresh with his new hair. He looks good in that shorter hair, and someone actually notice his change of appearance._

_ Once the bell ring, students start to get out of the class. So does Kyungsoo. He’s about to go to the cafeteria when suddenly a tall figure catching up beside him. Park Chanyeol. “I like the hair. It’s shorter. You don’t have bangs anymore. Um, doesn’t mean I didn’t like your bangs. I realize you look better like this. I should have said something the other night, and uh in truth I don’t actually like change, but this change seems cool” Chanyeol blabbering to Kyungsoo, earning a chuckle from him._

_ “thanks, Yeol” Kyungsoo said while smiling to Chanyeol, his lips turns into a heart shape. One of the things that Chanyeol really likes from Kyungsoo._

Chanyeol still staring at that seat, keep staring. Enough to make the teacher turn her attention at Chanyeol. He obviously didn’t listen to her anymore.

“Chanyeol? Chanyeol..” she calls out to him but gain no attention from the said boy. She clears her throat “Chanyeol” she calls one more time. This time she succeed. Chanyeol wake up from his daydream of a memory and turns to the teacher.

“yes, sorry, what?” Chanyeol confusedly asking.

“are you with us?” the teacher making sure.

“yeah, no, I am, I’m with you” that was a lie, definitely a lie. But the teacher let it slide. The students have been through a lot lately. So the teacher thought, it wouldn’t hurt to let a little things slide. The teacher starts to speak again. Also again, Chanyeol didn’t listen to her.His attention is now on the two figures with Mr. Choi, walking past his class. They’re Mr and Mrs. Do. Then Chanyeol wonders, what are they gonna do in here.

“the students did this on their own. We thought it’s just best to leave it” Mr. Choi explains to the Do parents. They’re now in front of Kyungsoo’s locker.

“I see...” Mrs. Do response short. Then she tries to unlock the locker using the code that was given to her. But seems like there’s a problem on it so the locker doesn’t unlock.

“I’m sorry, um- let me try this again” Mr. Choi help Mrs. Do and enter the code one more time carefully. And finally he unlock the locker.

“there’s no stickers? No photos with his friends?” Mrs. Do covers her mouth while looking inside the locker. There was only books and nothing else.

“honey, it’s just stickers. And maybe he saved the photos somewhere? In his room?” Mr. Do try to calm his wife.

“you and I both know we found nothing like that in his room. We’ve searched together. And what do you mean it’s just stickers? It’s Kyungsoo we’re talking about. You know he even puts stickers in his desk” Mrs. Do again, saying in disbelief towards her husband.

Chanyeol on the other side of the hallway, just staring at the parents. But when Mrs. Do caught his eye, he turns around and walks away. He goes to the toilet, the place he uses as an excuse to get out of the class just to win his curiousity about Kyungsoo’s parents. When he enter the toilet, there’s someone with his usual camera on his hand. Yixing, Zhang Yixing.

“oh, hey Chanyeol” Yixing said as he heard someone enter the toilet. He stand on top of the urinal to support his height on reaching the highest window. Sneakily took some pictures of the cheerleaders doing practice.

“hey, Yixing” Chanyeol said back. He’s kinda staring at Yixing now, staring at his habit for taking pictures sneakily. Then Yixing looks back at him and said “what?” in an annoyed tone. “nothing” Chanyeol said simply. He then enters one of the toilet stalls. He could still heard the shutter sound of Yixing’s camera. Just then a voice he recognize also enter the toilet.

“yeah, mom. No, everything’s fine here. You don’t need to worry about that email, it’s just an email you don’t need to come, wait hold on—“ Wu Yifan, looks like he’s on the phone, but stops immediately after looking at Yixing.

“what the fuck are you doing?” he said coldly at Yixing. Chanyeol decides to peek from the stall. He saw Yifan glaring coldly at Yixing, while the camera kid looks scared.

“nothing” Yixing answer, sounds a little scared.

“then get the fuck out of here!” with that half yell from Yifan, he gets down from the place he stand and get out of the toilet in hurry. “huh? No.. it’s nothing. Yeah sure, just stay in Canada, okay? Now give the phone to dad” Yifan continues on phone. And Chanyeol close the stall door again, he don’t wanna be caught by Yifan.

-

Chanyeol is walking and about to wait for the bus when someone call him. “Chanyeol!” it was Kim Jongade, the vice pres of student council. He gives Chanyeol his usual cat-like smile. He then hugs Chanyeol briefly.

“how are you doing, dude? You’ve been on my mind” Jongdae asking, now looks a little concerned.

“I’m fine, and uh I have?” Chanyeol said, unsure.

“well, yeah. I think we need to be there for each other at the time like this”

“sure”

“it’s all just so sad. It’s just don’t make sense, right?” Jongdae’s expression now looks a little sad. Thinking again, Chanyeol actually knows that he and Kyungsoo kinda close before.

“no, but… a lot of things don’t make sense” Chanyeol said.

“exactly, so true. You know, there’s just some things that didn’t have an simple explanations, right?” Jongdae adds.

“yeah, right” Chanyeol quickly agrees.

“well, I’m glad we got to talk, Yeol” he said then hugs Chanyeol again before saying goodbye.

“yeah… good talk” Chanyeol said voice low as he look at Jongdae who already walks to his car.

“hey Chanyeol!” just then the next voice of someone he really recognize very well calling him, making him turn around. The owner of the voice then offers him “you need a ride?”

Chanyeol looking at him for a while, confused. It’s not usual for Kim Minseok to offer him a ride home. “sure” but Chanyeol took the nice offer anyway. He gets into the car then, just after Minseok got into the car too he ask “no bikes today?”

“no, noona wanted to drive me and… talk about things” he answer. It’s true, his overprotective noona insist to drive him to school after they sent her emails yesterday. After the incident, the school suddenly care about the students and wanted to discuss anything with parents. And that’s why his noona wanted to give a pep talk this morning about how important it is to tell her and their mom if Chanyeol have problems with school and everything.

“ah I see…” Minseok said, his hands took a cassette and looks at Chanyeol “can I put this on?” he asks. “sure” Chanyeol answers. Minseok put the cassette and the music plays.

“you’re still on the old media, huh?” Chanyeol ask jokingly, he don’t want things to be awkward in the car. They’re neighbors, not really but their house not so far to each other. Besides they sometimes talk to each other even if it’s just a short conversation or a single “hey how you doing?”.

“well it’s so much better” Minseok says.

“everything is so much better before” Chanyeol answer.

"now you said it, son” Minseok joked. He didn’t listen to the songs though. He looks out to the window when they passed the cinema called CBX. He remembers, he and Kyungsoo used to work part time there.

_ Kyungsoo just teaching Chanyeol how to serve the popcorn at the cinema since Chanyeol is a trainee today. He turns to Chanyeol after demonstrating the popcorn serving._

_ “like so. Now, if they ask you if it’s real butter, what do you say?” Kyungsoo ask giving the popcorn to Chanyeol._

_ “it’s a butter-based product” Chanyeol answer the question, looks at the popcorn with flat face._

_ “and smile when you say it. I know, terrifying. But it sells the big lie. Oh, and, uh, little trade secret. If they’re cute, only put butter on the top so they have to come back for more during the movie” Kyungsoo explains a lot. He looks like a manager explaining things on his employee now. But Chanyeol likes it, he likes it when Kyungsoo talks a lot._

_ “okay, but why?” Chanyeol asking to the little secret Kyungsoo just gave._

_ “so you can chat ‘em up” Kyungsoo chuckles._

_ “oh wow, interesting. I like to chat though” Chanyeol joked._

_ “yeah, I know. That’s good. But that’s not my thing” Kyungsoo says, now his face also flat._

_ “but I think we can get along well though”_

_ “sure, as long as you remember that i started here 3 weeks before you, so I have seniority. Which is why I’m training you. Which is insane if you think about it, because I just moved here 2 months ago and I have no idea what I’m doing” there Kyungsoo explains, and again, he talks a lot now. Chanyeol likes it because he remember seeing him talking to his friend, Taemin. Taemin talks a lot while Kyungsoo just nodding. He then finds out fom Taemin that Kyungsoo is just like that, he didn’t talk a lot. But when he does, it’s cute and Chanyeol agrees._

_ “I think it’s going well. Do you like it?” Kyungsoo ask again._

_ “here? At the CBX? I find the various smells fascinating” Chanyeol joked, earning a chuckle from Kyungsoo._

_ “no, this town” Kyungsoo explains._

_ “oh, right. Uh I don’t have anything to compare to. I’ve lived here all my life. It’s like asking Han Solo how is Space?” Chanyeol likes to joke. He’s that kind of kid. Loud, jokes a lot to the person he thinks his friend, nerd, weird, and people found him annoying, except a senior named Donghae._

_ “wow… you’re an actual nerd, aren’t you? I admire that. There’s courage in being a nerd” to Chanyeol’s surprise, Kyungsoo joked. And Chanyeol likes it. He’s staring at Kyungsoo who’s cleaning the table counter. ‘He’s weird too, but cute’ Chanyeol thought._

There’s a car horn honking loudly, waking Chanyeol up from his daydream. Not long after that, they finally arrive at Chanyeol’s house. Chanyeol gets out of the car and thanking Minseok and gave him a “see you later”. Then Minseok leaves.

When Chanyeol walks to his front door, there’s a package with his name written on it. He picks it up and goes inside. He found a scissor and open the package. It’s a black box, there’s tapes inside. He’s then curious about these tapes. He remember that his dad having a boom box. Then he runs to the storeroom and find his dad’s boom box. He took one of the tapes and put it on the boom box. He hit the play button.

“Hey, it’s Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo” the voice said on the tape.

“holy shit” Chanyeol swears, eyes wide. He definitely recognize this voice even if he didn’t mention his name.

“Don’t adjust your… whatever device you’re hearing this on. It’s me, alive and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore. And this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you’re listening to this tape, you’re one of the reasons why….”


	2. The Jock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo. i'm so sorry for the late post. it was supposed to be last week after the exam but my health condition was bad. anyway in case you guys confused. bold sentence : Kyungsoo's voice on the tape. italic sentence : the past that Chanyeol/other character remember.  
alright here it goes. i hope you enjoy it. happy reading <33333

** “Hey, it’s Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo”** the voice said on the tape.

“holy shit” Chanyeol swears, eyes wide. He definitely recognize this voice even if he didn’t mention his name.

** “Don’t adjust your… whatever device you’re hearing this on. It’s me, alive and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore. And this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you’re listening to this tape, you’re one of the reasons why….”**

Chanyeol take a deep breath. Eyes still wide, but he’s still trying to listen.

** “I’m not saying which tape brings you to the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise. Anyway, the rules here are pretty simple. There are only two—“**

“hey what are you doing?”

“JESUS!” Chanyeol jolted from his seat just to see his mom already behind him. Her hand was on Chanyeol’s shoulder earlier.

“sorry” but his mom didn’t seem like she is.

“what have we said about helicopter parenting, mom?!” Chanyeol half yelled, the effect of being surprised.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. You were just lost in what is that you’re listening to?” her mom smile while her eyes turn into the boom box.

“it’s, uh it’s nothing. It’s for history class” he need to lie to his mom. Because what would he say? ‘oh those are tapes from Kyungsoo’. No way. He took the cassette from the boom box and place it back to the box of the tapes he received earlier.

“cassettes are history now?” she joked.

“mhm”

“hm.. of course they are. Can I listen?” his mom begin to pick up one of the cassettes.

“no!” Chanyeol snatch it from her hand. “it-it’s dumb. I’m gonna head up to my room. Homework” he excuses himself before his mom start to ask about the cassettes again.

“Chan, school emailed again today” the mom said, making Chanyeol stops in his track and turns to her.

“which explains why noona showed interest in my life. You two are dangerous when you coordinate” Chanyeol protest.

“you know I hate being the kind of parent who asks if you want to talk about anything, but if you want to talk about anything…”

“I didn’t really know him, mom” Chanyeol cut her off, referring to Kyungsoo.

“didn’t you two work together at the CBX?” his mom asked, making sure.

“yeah, for a little while—“

“but you didn’t know him very well?” his mom cut him off with another question before he can finish his excuse.

“not really” he said confidently so her mom believe him. “I need to get to work-shit!“ Chanyeol then start to take the boom box but he forgot that its cable still plugged, so it fell from his grip make him cursed at it.

“language” his mom warns.

“I’m sorry. I gotta-I gotta go work” he said while collecting the boom box to his hand again. “this thing is due in two days, so I gotta go” he adds the excuse.

“Chan” his mom called again, he stops again and turns to her. “slow down, hon. It’s just homework” her mom reminds while giving her concern look to her son.

“yeah, thanks mom” Chanyeol smile to his mom and quickly go to his room.

He shut the door and put everything in his desk. He then try to press the play button, but the button smashed in. Probably from the fall earlier.

“what the hell?” Chanyeol looks confused. He’s actually not really understand about this thing. He wished his father is still here to help him.

He grabs a pencil and tries to get it out, but it doesn’t work. He then tries to open the tape space but it won’t budge.

“shit” he sighs. He looks at the tapes briefly then remember something, precisely someone. He then save the cassette to the case and run downstairs. He meet his mom again.

“I have to go to Minseok’s” he said in honest. It’s true that he wanted to go to Minseok’s but he wouldn’t really tell what for.

“hold on, Minseok’s? Now?”

“he needs one of the tapes. We’re working together” he lied again.

“dinner’s in a half hour” his mom try to convince.

“make me a plate for later?” but Chanyeol really need to go.

“text me if you’re gonna be later than late” his mom reminds.

“I will, bye” he dash out of the house, he didn’t even heard his mom said bye.

When he arrived at MInseok’s house, it looks like he’s busy repairing his car with his dad. They kinda arguing about the engine sound. Chanyeol didn’t know much about car, but sometimes it’s interesting to see Minseok’s interactions with his family. Minseok known as someone cold, not really into silly fun things, tough, sometimes scary. But when it comes to his family, Chanyeol thinks he’d look a little soft, a little fun, especially to his dad, he’d look like just a little boy trying to impress his dad.

“hey Minseok, hey Mr. Kim” Chanyeol decides to greet them in the middle of their argue.

“hey Chanyeol” Minseok greets back.

“something’s wrong with her?” he asked, referring to the car. It’s funny how a car have a gender, Chanyeol thought.

“nothing wrong yet, it’s called taking care of things” this time Mr. Kim answers.

“dad, you remember Chanyeol?” Minseok ask his dad.

“yeah, sure. How you doing Chanyeol?”

“I’m well, thankyou” Chanyeol reply politely.

“so what’s up? Nothing?” Minseok ask.

“uh I was just out for a ride” he lied.

“on the other side of town?”

“that should do it. Start her up” Mr. Kim suddenly announce about the car.

And that’s it. That would probably be Chanyeol’s chance to get into the car.

“hand me the rag” Minseok said while making his way to get into the car.

“I’ll do it” Chanyeol stops him by offering that. They agreed, Chanyeol then gets into the car and starts the engine. He heard the Kims arguing again about the sound, but Chanyeol didn’t care much. His eyes searching on the car and stops once it lands on a walkman. ‘there it is’ Chanyeol thought, that’s his purpose to come to Minseok’s in the first place. He takes the walkman quickly and hide it in his hoodie before anyone can see.

“okay shut her off” he then heard Mr. Kim says. He gets out of the car, hiding his sweaty trembling hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

“I should get out of here” Chanyeol said, he already got what he wants. Even though he’s feeling guilty for not asking Minseok first. But what option did he have. He also can’t tell Minseok about the tapes.

“you sure? You don’t wanna stay for dinner?” Minseok offers.

“no, thanks. My mom’s making my favorite kimchi. If I’m not home soon, she’ll disown me” Chanyeol excuses himself politely and jokingly.

“they emailed all the parents again” Minseok informs. It’s the same thing like his mom said and he don’t know why Minseok bring that up.

“oh, I know”

“she leave a note? The boy who killed himself?” Mr. Kim suddenly ask. Making both Chanyeol and Minseok look at each other awkward. Then he saw Minseok giving his dad a look. He didn’t know what that look means but it makes his dad finally say “right, okay”. Chanyeol might be relieved, maybe Mr. Kim would just drop the subject after that.

“well, you listen to me. You ever do that to your mother, I will kill you, you understand? I’ll kill you dead” or not, Mr. Kim definitely not dropping the subject immediately, instead he warns Minseok, probably Chanyeol too. “clean this shit up” he said again referring to the mess they made after doing things to the car.

“no sense of irony in that comment. None. He’s uh he’s a simple man” Minseok now looks apologetic. Minseok definitely knows that Kyungsoo and him are close before. So when his dad brought up the ‘incident’, Minseok thought it’s probably making Chanyeol uncomfortable.

“yeah I’ll see you later” he said. He’s so ready to leave Minseok’s house. Of course, don’t wanna get caught of stealing, right?

“Yeol, I think you got something that belongs to me” shit, Chanyeol curses under his breath. Did he know? Did he saw Chanyeol hide the walkman in his hoodie?

“I do?” Chanyeol said, trying so hard to look innocent. But he sweats more and feel ready to kneel in front of Minseok for forgiveness.

“my keys” Chanyeol may or may not sighed loudly as he relieved that Minseok didn’t caught him stealing his walkman.

“oh, yeah. Right. Here” Chanyeol feel stupid as he takes out the keys from his hoodie, try not to be shaky as he hands the keys. “I’ll see you later” he said, goes to his bike quickly leaving Minseok as the guy wave bye at him.

\----------------

Chanyeol sits at the bench near the CBX, the cinema he works at before. He puts the tape on Minseok’s walkman and press the play button. He listen to his voice again.

** “the rules here are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one : you listen. Number two : you pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy. It’s not supposed to be easy, or I would have emailed you an MP3. When you’re done listening to all 13 sides, because there are 13 sides to every story, rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to the next person”**

“why the hell am I on this?” Chanyeol ask himself, he then think, ‘it’s too late to step back, isn’t it?’ he already listen to the voice he always thought to be addicting. And to be honest, he missed this voice, he missed him. And he wants to find out why the hell Kyungsoo did that.

** “oh and the box of tapes should have included a map. I’ll be mentioning several spots around our beloved city. I can’t force you to visit them, but if you’d like a little more insight, head for the stars. Or, you know, just throw the map away and I’ll never know… or will I? You see, in case you’re tempted to break the rules, understand I did make a copy of these tapes, and I left them with a trusted individual who, if this package doesn’t make it through all of you, will release those copies in a very public manner. This was not a spur of the moment decision. Do not take me for granted. Not again”**

“I never did” Chanyeol muttered to the tape, referring he never took Kyungsoo for granted. He ride his bike now while listening to the tape. He loses his focus and didn’t really pay attention to the road. He was surpised by the car honking, almost didn’t see a car going directly at him. He swerve his bike to the left and succeed avoiding the car that almost hit him. But unfortunately he hits a car parked on the road side, making his body flew to the other side of the car.

He grunts in pain and sits up slowly, then panting. He realize that he probably got some blood on his forehead as he hits the ground kinda hard. He wipes the blood “oh shit” and grunts again. He saw the walkman and the tape scattered on the ground. He collects them and listen to the tape again.

** “do what I say. Not more, not less. You’re being watched”**

Chanyeol take a moment to breathe as he look on his bike lying on the ground.

\-------------------------

Chanyeol took the map from his room and about to go out again when Yoora show up on the door blocking his way.

“everything okay?” she ask, she looks concerned. She probably already notice that Chanyeol looks like shit now.

“yeah I just forget something”

“but your forehead. God, what happened?”

“what? Oh it’s nothing” it hurts as hell actually. But he should sounds like he’s fine so his noona wouldn’t be worry.

“did you fall off your bike?” his noona indeed worry as she’s so curious now.

“low-hanging branch. I went through the woods. It was dark and I’m too tall” he lied.

“I’ll get the first aid kit” Yoora is about to make her way.

“I don’t need first aid kit” he rejects quickly.

“but you’re bleeding. You need ointment” Yoora tries to reason, hoping her brother would listen to her and take care of his wound.

“noona, please don’t say ‘ointment’. I’m fine, really” Chanyeol try to convince.

“what happened?” Yoora ask again to make sure Chanyeol tell the truth.

“I told you, bike, branch, skin” Chanyeol then walk pas Yoora to avoid more question.

“that’s all?” and again, Yoora making sure.

“noona, I tell you everything about my life because it’s so fascinating, I promise. I’ll clean it up. I have to go. Minseok’s waiting” Chanyeol is making his way downstairs when Yoora catch his arm.

“wait..” Chanyeol turns about to question what else she wanna know. But turns out Yoora just dust his jacket off. “there, now the giraffe wasn’t dirty anymore” Chanyeol look down at the giraffe print in his jacket that his noona referring to.

_ “love the jacket. It suits you” said someone that just come up beside him. Chanyeol turns and saw Kyungsoo referring to his jacket._

_ “suits me because I’m so tall like a giraffe?” Chanyeol chuckles._

_ “mhm, didn’t anyone told you that?”_

_ “uh yeah lots of people, with you it’ll be- uh I don’t know how many people have told me that”_

_ “instead of a jacket with giraffe print, say, wouldn’t it be more suitable for you to wear a giraffe onnesie?” Kyungsoo laugh a little, probably already have that image in his brain. Chanyeol blush on his spot, embarrassed._

_ When Chanyeol didn’t answer, Kyungsoo sigh. “You’re just so tall and I had to look up to talk to you, my neck hurts” Kyungsoo tease and complain at the same time, ‘adorable’ Chanyeol thought._

_ “well forgive me, it wasn’t my fault I just happened to grow up so tall” Kyungsoo laugh at Chanyeol’s answer, Chanyeol’s heart melts._

_ “then you should give me the secret of growing up so tall”_

_ “why? It’s not like being tall is always that fun” and that’s true, sometimes Chanyeol hits the archway of his door and he hates it._

_ “yeah but being short isn’t fun too, I couldn’t even reach something so high up in a rack and I hate it” Kyungsoo chuckles. ‘maybe I can get it for you’ Chanyeol didn’t say that out loud._

_ “well then maybe next time, I can tell you while I’m wearing the giraffe onnesie” Kyungsoo laugh again at that. And Chanyeol love it whenever he can make Kyungsoo laugh like that._

_ “yeah sure, giraffe, next time cause you’ve got bathrooms to clean”_

_ “uhh you mean we’ve got” Chanyeol corrects him._

_ “mm. I don’t, actually. Oh, uh, party at my house tomorrow night. You’re invited. It’s mandatory. You can tell me the secrets there. But don’t wear the onnesie” both laugh at the mention of the onnesie._

_ “cool. Where, uh where do you live?”_

** “put your finger on ‘C’, your other finger on ‘4’. Bring them together. That’s our first red star. I know, right? A map. Old school, again. No Google Maps, no app, no chance for the interwebs to make everything worse, like it does”**

Chanyeol ride his bike to the star on the map. But he knows, he’s not alone. He feels someone following him. He turns his head briefly to the vehicle that he believes following him. He then ride the bike off the pathway, taking alternative road. Then he saw the vehicle drives away.

** “you’ve arrived at my first house in this shitty town”**

_ The house is crowded by almost everyone from school and some people Chanyeol never saw before, probably Taemin’s friends from other school too. This party isn’t really Kyungsoo’s. while it means to introduce Kyungsoo to people at school, it’s also a farewell to Taemin before he move to another city. The music is good, Chanyeol thought. His eyes looking for Kyungsoo and Taemin, probably the only persons he’s familiar at this party._

** “where I threw my frist and only party and where I met Kim Jongin the first subject of our frist tape. It was just a party. ** **I didn't know it was the beginning of the end. Jongin, you were in love with my friend Taemin. My only friend”**

_ “He came! Yeol's here!” Taemin’s voice fills with excitement and surprise at the same time when Chanyeol found them near the stairs._

_ “I win! You owe me five dollars” Kyungsoo grins wide._

_ “Oh my god” Taemin rolls his eyes._

_ “you bet on me?” Chanyeol sounds surprise. Both Kyungsoo and Taemin laugh at Chanyeol’s reaction._

_ “against you. I forgot the last time I see you at a party” well that’s true. Chanyeol isn’t really the type of party animal. Never show up, ivitations or no invitations. “he has his own world in his room apparently” Taemin turns to told Kyungsoo who just grin as a reaction._

_ “well I got a lot of things to do, thankyou” Chanyeol defends himself. He wasn’t sure if Kyungsoo the type of person who did parties, but doesn’t wanna sounds that boring in front of Kyungsoo._

_ “sure Yeol sure” Taemin rolls his eyes again. “okay, let’s drink” Teamin began to lead them to the dining table to get drinks. “hey girls” Taemin greets two girls as they walking past them,they say hi back while smiling happily at Taemin._

_ “This is quite a turnout. People are happy to see you go” Chanyeol said teasing Taemin._

_ “I really just threw it so Kyungsoo could finally meet some people before I depart this realm”_

_ “I met giraffe” Kyungsoo said, the nickname somehow makes Chanyeol happy._

_ “Yeol doesn’t count. You met him at work” Taemin protest and rolls his eyes again._

_ “I feel like that should count” Chanyeol defense making Taemin sigh in defeat._

_ “of course you do. Okay refills. Yeol, what is your drink?” Taemin look at the drinks as he asked Chanyeol._

_ “uh, Sprite” Chanyeol said making Taemin look at him in disbelief._

_ “oh my god, you are priceless” Taemin shakes his head as he take his drink. “you’re a gem, you should have beer” he said as he walk away with his drink._

_ “sure, I like beer” Chanyeol said sarcastically._

_ “Taemin!” _

_ “Oh” Taemin stop his track and turns to the source of the voice, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo does the same. It’s Yixing with his camera wanted to take a picture of Taemin. Taemin slides in the middle of Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, they pose for Yixing’s camera. Once it’s done, Yixing gave them the thumbs up. Taemin continues his way to get the beer._

_ “stop having so much fun, Yeol” Kyungsoo half whispering to him while smiling. He’s being sarcastic actually, seeing how bored Chanyeol’s face is. Probably what Taemin said was true, he never been going much to parties._

_ “I’m having fun. Totally. Woot!” Chanyeol replied with half smile but same bored face._

_ “you’re too buttoned up” Kyungsoo unbuttoned the second button of Chanyeol’s shirt, revealing a bit of his skin. Then he stare at Chanyeol’s face. Chanyeol looking at his skin, embarrassed and quickly button it back while Kyungsoo laughing so hard at his reaction. It’s always nice to hear that laugh, so Chanyeol laugh too._

_ “hey there” come someone Chanyeol recognizes as Wu Yifan. Smiling at Kyungsoo while taking drinks._

_ “hey” Kyungsoo replied with a smile._

_ “you’re the new guy” said Yifan._

_ “apparently” response Kyungsoo shortly, though earning chuckle from YIfan._

_ “sorry it’s not like I’m gay or something, but I hear your laugh from afar and I like your laugh” that’s right, YIfan is straight. Though he likes to changing partners. And even Chanyeol hates to admit it, YIfan’s right. Kyungsoo’s laugh is so beautiful and adorable. And Chanyeol’s sure, if Yifan is gay, that adorable laugh would make him have a crush on Kyungsoo._

_ “Thanks, I like your understated sense of fashion” Kyungsoo joke, making Yifan look at his own shirt then chuckles._

_ “Yifan. Better go hit the keg and catch up. You’re an hour behind” said Temin who comes from the kitchen counter to get his beer. Yifan look at Taemin then back to Kyungsoo then chuckles._

_ “I’ll see you later I hope. See you” Yifan smiles at Kyungsoo one more time and Taemin eyes linger on Yifan as he leaves._

_ “oh, god no” said Taemin as he rolls his eyes at Kyungsoo. “solid no, Soo. He is, like, frat boy Darth Vader” warns Taemin, staring right into Kyungsoo eyes, he’s serious._

_ “he didn’t seem that bad, besides he’s straight” Kyungsoo said._

_ “I was being kind” Taemin said sarcastically which got a reply from Chanyeol “he kind of was”._

_ “and yes, he’s straight, but who knows? So no, Kyungsoo” Taemin still warns. Chanyeol is so grateful that Taemin warns Kyungsoo. Even Yifan won’t be interested in Kyungsoo sexually, but he might manipulate Kyungsoo for something else. Chanyeol knows Yifan just like that._

_ Kyungsoo sigh, “I think I want a beer too” Kyungsoo began to walk to another room to get his beer._

_ "okay then Princess Leia” tease Taemin making Kyungsoo stop for a minute and turns to him._

_ “oh my god. You’re both nerds” joke Kyungsoo making both Chanyeol and Taemin chuckle._

_ As the sight of Kyungsoo disappear, Taemin turns to Chanyeol. “are you gonna tell him?” his face a little serious._

_ "tell him what?” Chanyeol pretends to have no idea, but he definitely knows._

_ “oh, please. I’ve known you this entire century” and yes, Chanyeol could never fooled him._

_ “well, give me a break. I’m not good with the you know..”_

_ “mm yes I know” Taemin a little teased._

_ “but it’s like, around him, I can be different, you know? I’m the new and improved Park Chanyeol : high school sophomore, musician-slash-adventurer” Chanyeol blabbered._

_ “Yeol, sweets, you’re a prize. But from my limited observation, he has terrible taste in guys” Taemin sigh._

_ “you won’t say anything to him?” Chanyeol making sure._

_ “only if it comes up” Taemin winks and began to walk away probably looking for Kyungsoo or talk to other friends of his._

_ “Taemin!” Chanyeol called and about to catch up but his cell phone vibrating. He stops and take out his phone._

Present Chanyeol look at his phone that vibrating nonstop since he arrived at Kyungsoo’s front house and began daydreaming on the past. “noona” the caller ID on the phone. Chanyeol declines the call.

_ Two boys just arrived in front of Kyungsoo’s house when suddenly the spinkles go off and making them jolts in surprise. They laugh at it and began to play near the sprinkles. They try to strangle each other while laughing, ignoring how wet they are now because of the sprinkles._

_ “meet the boys! Kim Jongin is mine, and Kim Junmyeon for you” Taemin introduce as the three of them watch from the terrace._

_ “Kim Junmyeon? Really? And Jongin’s yours? Aren’t they straight?” Chanyeol questioned._

_ “ugh yes they’re straight for public” Taemin short esplained._

_ “oh didn’t know the jock is actually gay and yours”_

_ “Geez, Yeol. How long have you known me?” Taemin rolls his ayes at Chanyeol._

_ “well sorry I’m not into people business that much” Chanyeol quipped and Taemin ignores that._

_ “also Junmyeon is sweet” Taemin adds._

_ “I can’t see! Not the mane!” one of the boys said as they’re still fighting each other near the sprinkles, later Kyungsoo found he’s Junmyeon as Taemin continues, “okay, yeah. He’s kinda dumb. But he’s the sweet kind of dumb which is the best kind of dumb” but Kyungsoo isn’t convince at all with this Junmyeon._

_ “yes!” Taemin shouts as he claps his hands making fun of both Kim’s action. “SM High’s star athlete and student president, ladies and gentlemen. So impressive. Sorry, boys. Can’t have you in Kyungsoo’s house soaking wet” Taemin teases them._

_ “seriously?” said Jongin._

_ “oh, my god. Look at yourselves” Taemin said pointing at their whole wet clothes._

_ Jongin then take off his shirt showing his beautiful tan body and his breathtaking abs. “better?” tease Jongin while smirking as he thought it would convince Taemin._

_ “improvement, for sure, but sorry it’s still a no-go” Taemin sounds unconvinced._

_ “come on! It’s not a party without us” Junmyeon tries again._

_ “we’ll take our chances. Go dry off” Taemin shoo them._

_ “your loss mi lady” Jongin jokingly imitate british accent while chuckling._

_ “idiots, I can’t even…” Taemin said as he goes back into the house._

_ “but they’re sweet idiots” Chanyeol add before he follows Taemin._

_ Kyungsoo stay for a while when he look at Jongin and sharing a smile. Then he saw Jongin catch up to Junmyeon to dry themselves off._

** “so, you see. That’s where the trouble began. That smile. That damned smile”**

_ School starts, Kyungsoo looks around him, looking at faces he’s still unfamiliar with. He’s new and still don’t know anyone even though the whole school came to his house three days ago._

** “the one and only Taemin moved away before the start of the school. He was the kind of friend that couldn’t be replaced. Even by falling in love, with the boy he left behind”**

_ But there’s someone, near the building, talking with his friends. Then he smile at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo smile back as he blush a little and quicken his pace to the building._

_ “hey!” Kyungsoo turns at the voice and saw Jongin catching up beside him. “Kyungsoo, right?” Jongin asked._

_ “right” Kyungsoo look at Jongin for a brief moment before look away, shy. ‘cute’ Jongin thought._

_ “Jongin. Kim. I saw you at the party the other night”_

_ “yeah, I-I saw you too. You’re drier now” Kyungsoo joke, remember him playing with the sprinkles._

_ “yeah, well, we went home and changed”_

_ “was it profound?” Kyungsoo ask. “huh?” and Jongin confused._

_ “your change” Jongin looking at Kyungsoo for a bit and then understand what he means._

_ “oh yeah, yeah. Totally” Kyungsoo chuckles at him, stupid Jongin. “so uh, Taemin’s gone” Jongin reminds and Kyungsoo sigh._

_ “yeah, sucks. You talk to him?” Kyungsoo ask. Knowing that they are a thing._

_ “yeah, I mean, you know, like a little”_

_ “yeah, me too. A little. I, uh should go to class”_

_ “oh yeah, yeah, totally” Jongin chuckles. Shit, he probably should go too. “so I’ll see you around then?” Jongin making sure before Kyungsoo walks away._

_ “I guess you will” Kyungsoo smile a bit then go to his class._

** “being Taemin’s boyfriend was kind of the only remarkable thing about you. But, Jongin, you were my Kryptonite”**

_ “Junmyeon who?” Taemin ask on their Skype video call._

_ “Kim Junmyeon” Kyungsoo explained._

_ “oh!” he said suddenly realize and sigh. “sorry, love. I’m learning all these new boy names, and I’ve dragged most of the old ones into the trash icon in my head” Taemin said describing as if he was a computer. Kyungsoo chuckles at his friend._

_ “yeah. So, anyway. I know you wanted me to hook up with Junmyeon, but—“_

_ “—but you’re into Jongin” Taemin cuts him off._

_ “I’m evil” Kyungsoo felt guilty.Taemin just said that he broke up with Jongin cause long distance relationship would never work for them, at least for Taemin. And he feel bad cause it’s like betraying his friend._

_ “no, hardly” Taemin assure, of course, hardly, Kyungsoo is like an angel to Taemin. “he’s a jock-crack. I get it. He’s all yours”_

_ “no, I would never—“_

_ “seriously, I have moved on, times 2.000 miles, and I’m dating hipsters now. He’s all yours” Taemin assures him again. Kyungsoo nods to his friend and smile. Then they started to talk about another topic._

** “so there you go. Taemin’s approval is all I took to make a little move on you. I even decided to check out the dance studio after Taemin slipped it out of his mouth. Dance isn’t my thing. But Jongin, if it means I got to see that smile of yours, I’d be happy to dance forever”**

_ Kyungsoo stands in the lobby of the studio, he starts to look around nervous. Maybe it’s a bad idea. He shouldn’t have listened to what his stupid heart said. What is he even doing here? He can’t even dance. But if he go back home now, that means he can’t see the smile he’s been dying to see everyday._

_ “Kyungsoo?” Kyungsoo stops looking around, frozen for a moment after he heard a voice he recognize calling his name. He turns, and shit, there’s Jongin standing near the door in his sleeveless shirt and track pants all black, while holding a duffle bag. ‘fuck he’s hot’ Kyungsoo screams internally._

_ “h-hey Jongin” _

_ “hey why are you here? You dance?” Jongin walk towards him and asked. He definitely not expecting Kyungsoo as the dance type._

_ “what? No. I just wanna check this studio out. And who knows? Maybe I’ll be interested in dance”_

_ “oh really? Let me guess, Taemin told you about this studio?” he smirked._

_ “you… guessed it right” Kyungsoo smiles nervously. “he wanted me to check some places out, so maybe I can found some interesting activity other than just stay at home and this dance studio is one of them” lies, ‘don’t care about the place cause I actually wanna check you out’ the truth says on Kyungsoo’s mind._

_ “oh damn, yeah that sounds like TaeTae” Jongin chuckles._

_ “TaeTae? That’s a cute nickname” Kyungsoo comment at the nickname. “maybe I should start calling him that”_

_ “haha no, don’t. He didn’t like it”_

_ “hmm really? Didn’t he got you a nickname too?”_

_ Jongin smiles and shakes his head. “nope, as if Taemin and being corny is possible in this world”_

_ “oh god that’s right” Kyungsoo laugh. “it’s not usual for me being corny too but I can give you a nickname” Kyungsoo offers._

_ “yeah?”_

_ “yeah. But only if you show me your dance” Kyungsoo challenges._

_ Jongin snorts. “you could have said you wanted to admire my body while I’m dancing”_

_ “ugh you wish” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes making Jongin chuckles._

_ “come on then” Jongin said then take Kyungsoo’s hand to lead him to the dance room._

_ Few minutes later, Kyungsoo found himself staring at Jongin’s body in amusement as he shows him the dance he’s been practicing for months. The way Jongin’s body move is so beautiful. Kyungsoo can’t take his eyes off of him. He even thought how Jongin’s got hotter as the sweat running down his body while he dance. Kyungsoo keep staring even Jongin is already finish and starts walking towards him. He sat himself beside Kyungsoo while panting._

_ “so? What do you think?” Jongin asked still panting. He starts to drink from his bottle while waiting for Kyungsoo to answer. Meanwhile Kyungsoo just sit still like a statue as he keep staring at Jongin._

_ “Kyungsoo?” Jongin who notice it wave his hand in front of Kyungsoo after he finish the drink._

_ “y-yeah?” Kyungsoo finally answer, stuttered. His minds were occupied by the fact how hot Jongin is gulping at the drink in front of him._

_ “I asked what do you think about the dance” Jongin repeat his question. And how the fuck would Kyungsoo answer that because he don’t even pay attention at the dance but Jongin’s body, especially when he did the wave._

_ “oh its… um, good?” Jongin chuckles at that._

_ “yeah?” Jongin put the bottle on the floor and leans closer to Kyungsoo, their face is so close, and Kyungsoo swear he’s about to die. “tell me which one?”_

_ “huh?” Kyungsoo confused._

_ “which one is good? My moves or my body?” Jongin tease, he smirked. Kyungsoo didn’t answer. He wants to tell the truth how Jongin’s body is the only thing he paid attention at. But he don’t want to let Jongin’s ego up as he still wanted to play the ‘push and pull’ act._

_ When Kyungsoo didn’t answer, stay frozen and blush. He took the opportunity to lean even closer, lips almost touching, he breath on the plump lips to tease Kyungsoo. When the blush even deeper, Kyungsoo shut his eyes tight._

** “my mind was panic. Seems like the time stopped, and I wanted to keep it that way. Jongin, you put the bomb inside my heart, right when I see your smile at the party. So, when our lips almost touched, would it be explode then?”**

_ But everything stops as Kyungsoo’s phone rang. Jongin pulls away._

_ “you should probably pick that up” Jongin said while smiling softly at Kyungsoo. While Kyungsoo is feeling guilty that his damn phone had to ruin everything. He nods then take his phone out of his pocket. It’s his mom._

_ “mom?... oh yeah… okay, I’ll go now… no it’s okay… see you at home” Kyungsoo hang up and sigh._

_ “you’re going home?” Jongin ask, try not to sound disappointed._

_ “yeah sorry, I’d like to stay longer but my hyung is home from the university on another town, so…”_

_ “hey it’s okay, we can do this again next time” he assured, if it’s about family then he would understand._

_ “there’s next time?” Kyungsoo tease, he smirked._

_ “only if you give me your number” Jongin winks, and Kyungsoo swear his heart skips a beat. Jongin smiles at the sight of Kyungsoo blushing again. ‘can you stop being so cute?’ Jongin cooes internally._

_ “well then I’ll take your phone” Kyungsoo manage to said as he compose himself._

_ “huh?” Jongin who still smiling at Kyungsoo suddenly caught off guard._

_ “first I’ll take your phone, second I’ll put my number, so third you can—“_

_ “oh okay okay, sorry, here” Jongin cuts Kyungsoo off, chuckling after realizing what Kyungsoo means and give his phone._

_ Kyungsoo put his number on Jongin’s phone, also chuckling while doing it, because how the hell Jongin turns into ‘idiot Jongin’ in 1 second after being the ‘flirty Jongin’. Kyungsoo then bid Jongin goodbye after he returns the phone._

** “no, it didn’t explode that day.** **Fun fact : we ****didn’t kissed. Are you disappointed? I bet you are. You want it to happen so my nightmare would starts. But hey, don’t worry. Let me tell you something that could light your face up : it’s about to start”**

_ The day after they almost kissed, Kyungsoo doing his math homework that evening when his phone chimmed. He got a new message from someone he’s been expecting. Kyungsoo smiles at the text he got._

** _From : Jongin (5.05 pm)_ **

_Hey _ _:)_

** _To : Jongin (5.06 pm)_ **

_Hey_

** _From : Jongin (5.08 pm)_ **

_What’s up?_

** _To : Jongin (5.09 pm)_ **

_Just.. Homework and stuff_

_ Kyungsoo staring at the phone as it shows Jongin is typing something, but he stops and turn the screen off as he heard footsteps approaching. His mom enter the room, looking at Kyungsoo while she put her hands on her hips._

_ “Kyungsoo, you know I don’t like it if you’re on the phone when there’s homework”_

_ “I’m just using the calculator” Kyungsoo excuses. Then failed because right after he said that, his phone chimmed again. “and uh… helping friend” he tries again, hoping it will succeed._

_ “no” his mom sigh. “phone…phone…” she said while gesturing her hand to ask for the phone. Kyungsoo only sigh then give his phone to his mom. “do I know this friend?” his mom curious._

_ “do you know any of my friends?” Kyungsoo snorts teasing his mom. Just then his phone receive a call, the caller ID shows ‘Jongin’. Shit. His mom pick up the call._

_ “hello Jongin, Kyungsoo is doing his homework right now so I think you should too” _

_ “oh hey Mrs. Do, yeah I know. Kyungsoo is just helping me with my problem” the volume is kinda big that Kyungsoo could hear Jongin over the phone._

_ “oh really? What is your problem then?” she tests Jongin._

_ “uhh math” Kyungsoo secretly smiles while holding back his laugh, it’s amazing how Jongin could match the lie without Kyungsoo telling him._

_ “math?” Mrs. Do lift an eyebrow, huh maybe she should’ve believe her son. “okay then” she said then handing the phone to Kyungsoo. “tell me if you need and help” she said then leaves Kyungsoo, who she believe just helping his friend over the phone._

_ Once his mom out of his room, Kyungsoo walks to the door and silently close it. “so, you need help with the math problem?” Kyungsoo said loud enough for his mom to hear downstairs so she could believe that Kyungsoo really helping Jongin with math._

_ “no, I said that just to get you alone on the phone” Jongin said._

_ “because I got homework on my own, Jongin. I can’t just stay on the phone all evening”_

_ “okay then… I can call you back”_

_ “no!” Kyungsoo shouts, then he covers his mouth. He forgot, he didn’t supposed to say that part out loud. “I mean um… what problem were you having trouble with?” Kyungsoo asked, sitting at the edge of his bed now. “the one with the uhh... trains?” Kyungsoo just hope that Jongin would get the hint._

_ “the trains?” Jongin confused, Kyungsoo sigh. Nope, he definitely didn’t get it, stupid Jongin._

_ “two trains leave at the different times, but when do they meet?” Kyungsoo explain._

_ “oh! Oh I get it…” Kyungsoo sigh gratefully, finally stupid Jongin gets it. “uhmm train A is leaving my house in a few minutes, train B is leaving your house in…”_

_ “30 minutes” Kyungsoo said, smiling while waiting for Jongin’s response._

_ “30 minutes seems like an awfully long time for two trains going full speed, huh?” Jongin tease, he heard Kyungsoo chuckling over the phone._

_ “EXO dance studio, the dance room” Kyungsoo said then hangs up. “oh my god!” he giggles and throw his back on the bed._

** “I know what you’re all thinking. Do Kyungsoo is a slut. Upss… did you catch that? I just said Do Kyungsoo is… (sigh) can’t say that anymore”**

_ 20 minutes later Kyungsoo found himself walking towards Jongin who just stood there in the middle of the room. He wears his school team jacket, put his hands inside his jeans pocket, smiling. ‘handsome’ Kyungsoo thought. Kyungsoo smiles back._

_ “finally interested in dance? That’s why you choose this place?” Jongin’s smile turns into smirk as he tease Kyungsoo._

_ “mhm, thanks to you” Kyungsoo giggles. And god damn it, Jongin found it was adorable._

** “ever since the day we almost kissed, I always dreamed our real first kiss in the dance room. I never told you that. The dream starts with us having silly dance off”**

_ Kyungsoo giggles as Jongin shows him a silly dance. He then tries to copy the moves which is so funny that Jongin starts to laugh histerically. Then Jongin stops him “wait..wait” he said as he take out his phone and walk to the little stereo near the mirror in front of them._

_ “what are you doing?” Kyungsoo asked curious._

_ “this is precious, I have to record this” he said while laughing a little. He put his bottle above the stereo and lean the phone against it so it could stand there and recording them without Jongin holds it._

_ “okay you may continue” Jongin said as he rejoins Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo only laugh at that as he continues what he’s doing before. The room only fills with their laughter then. Only few minutes later, Kyungsoo’s laughter slowly dies as he starts to catch his breath between the laugh. Then he stops once he realize Jongin’s body is suddenly so close in front of him. Kyungsoo looks up and find the expression on Jongin’s face is so soft._

_ “may I have this dance?” Jongin offers his hand while wriggling his eyebrows at Kyungsoo, making the smaller man giggles as he accept the hand. Without Kyungsoo realize, they’re waltzing. Kyungsoo learned this dance once with his brother, Seungsoo, on their parents anniversary few years ago. But he never have imagined that he’ll do this with the man he fell in love with._

** “maybe the dream was kind of cheesy, but it continues with us waltzing, you taking my hand as you lead the dance. Call me a sap, but when you held me close, I felt safe, it felt right. I don’t even think that it’ll be the start of my nightmare. It makes me wonder. Jongin, do you ever feel the same that day?”**

_ A minute later Kyungsoo find himself lean his head on Jongin’s chest. Jongin noticed and start to sit himself on the floor, taking Kyungsoo by surprise as he pulls his body down with him. Now Kyungsoo sit on his lap. Eyes wider than the normal size, he probably still surprised._

_ “you okay? Are you tired?” Jongin make sure as he looks at Kyungsoo._

_ “yeah a little” Kyungsoo said, but he didn’t realize what he was doing later. His hand unconsciously wiped the sweat running down Jongin’s cheek. “you’re sweating” he said._

_ “I know, thanks” Jongin chuckles then take Kyungsoo’s hand that still on his cheek. Kyungsoo starts to blush, he clears his throat and try to get off of Jongin but Jongin stops him._

_ “stay like this, I don’t mind” Jongin smiles softly at him. Kyungsoo swears, if he’s a cartoon, he’ll melt and turns into a puddle of liquid in front of Jongin right at that moment. ‘fuck that smile’ Kyungsoo swears internally._

_ “okay…” he sit still at Jongin’s lap, Jongin still hold his hand, he began to think what to say to Jongin to break the silence, then suddenly a question that he didn’t ask yesterday come up. “you know… I didn’t know you dance and actually like it, I thought you only like sports since you’re the jock” Jongin chuckles at the mention of ‘Jock’. “why do you like it?” Kyungsoo ask._

_ “yeah, I know it’s unexpected that a jock like me actually dance” Kyungsoo only nods at that. “and why? Because by dancing, I can have the freedom to express who I am. I can pour my heart out into the moves. I can make it as an excuse to call it as ‘another exercise’. And somehow it’s like a cure to the stress that I sometimes have” Kyungsoo only stares at Jongin. ‘the freedom to express who I am’ Jongin’s word running on his head as he remember what Taemin said at the party. ‘he is straight publicly’ which is mean he kept his sexuality as a secret. Is Taemin the only one who knows?_

_ “knock knock” Jongin said, waking Kyungsoo from his thought. Kyungsoo chuckles then mutter sorry. “what’s in that pretty little head of yours?” Jongin asked._

_ “nothing, I was just amazed by the reason” Jongin only chuckled as a response._

_ “Kyungsoo?” Jongin calls which only got a hum from Kyungsoo. “can I express my self to you?”_

_ “what? You wanna dance again, Nini?” Kyungsoo snorts and slipped a nickname he thought this morning._

_ “Nini? Already got me a nickname, I see” Jongin tease,Kyungsoo is about to open his mouth to respond but Jongin added quickly, “and I don’t mean to do it in dance, but this…”_

_ Jongin close the gap between them as he leans to Kyungsoo. His lips finally landed on Kyungsoo’s plump lips. Kyungsoo gasp a little but without any thinking, Kyungsoo who is still surpised at the kiss, starts to kiss him back. Jongin put his right hand on Kyungsoo’s tiny waist. While he puts his other hand at Kyungsoo’s nape, while Kyungsoo wrapped his hands around Jongin’s shoulder. They kiss for a long time then finally pulls away to catch their breath. Jongin leans their forehead together._

_ “that’s how I express myself to you, you like it?” Jongin half whispering._

_ “yeah, I like it. Thankyou for expressing yourself to me, Nini” both of them laugh at the mention of Jongin’s nickname from Kyungsoo._

** “the kiss happened. Or at least what you called ‘express my self to you’ happened”**

Chanyeol stood beside his bike as he stares on the building in front of him. EXO dance studio as what Kyungsoo mention in his tape. He’s been there for god knows how long, picturing the kiss between Jongin and Kyungsoo while listening to Kyungsoo’s voice on the tape as he describe the kiss. Then he shut his eyes tight as the voice on the tape began again.

** “why? did you hear something else?”**

Chanyeol’s eyes go wide as he starts to picture something he didn’t want to believe long time ago when the rumor spread.

_ Jongin starts to kiss Kyungsoo passionately as his hands roam under Kyungsoo’s shirt. Kyungsoo moans between the kiss. Then one of Jongin’s hands start to move down and slipped inside Kyungsoo’s jeans. Kyungsoo pulls away from the kiss and throw his head back at the pleasure. Now Jongin kiss his jaw down to the exposed neck and sucks it as his other hand starts to lower Kyungsoo’s jeans and underwear enough to expose his ass . Done with Kyungsoo’s, now he unbuckle his own jeans and hold Kyungsoo’s tiny waist. Then their hips start to move in unison as Kyungsoo moans getting a little louder._

Chanyeol shakes his head and get the picture out of his head. No. it can’t be. Right?

** “nope, we just kissed. Sorry to disappoint you, but I guess now we’re even, sort of”**

Chanyeol sigh in relief. Then suddenly a bright light hit his eyes. He adjust his sight and realize it was the light from a car. He then recognize the car. His guess is right, when the owner, Minseok get out of the car and stands in front of it. He put his hands on the pocket of the leather jacket he wears. Chanyeol then quickly take off the headset he’s been using to listen to the tape. And quickly hide the walkman in his hoodie.

“Hey Chanyeol” Minseok greets calmly, weird how he didn’t have a questioned look or tone in his voice seeing Chanyeol stand in front of a dance studio building late at night. But also, why Minseok even driving late at night?

“hey, Minseok” Chanyeol sounds a little nervous as he greets him back.

“you okay?” Minseok making sure, Chanyeol think that Minseok was asking because he saw the uncleaned wound on his forehead.

“yeah, fine” Chanyeol hope his answer enough to Minseok.

Minseok then squint his eyes a little to the walkman that Chanyeol hides in his hoodie miserably. He smirk. ‘you’re not that smart Chanyeol’ he could still see a bit of the walkman.

“is that my walkman?”

Chanyeol starts to panic as his eyes went wide and glance to the walkman in his hoodie. Again, he felt ready to ask for Minseok’s forgiveness as he caught red handed now.

“uhh.. yeah. I was gonna ask you—“

“—no sweat” Minseok quickly cut him off and chuckles. No hint of anger in his voice. “just becareful listening while you ride though” he advice, looking at Chanyeol with a bit of smile. “you don’t wanna hurt yourself, again” referring to the wound on his forehead.

“yeah, thanks” Chanyeol sounded nervous, probably still the effect of being caught. He then look at the building in front of him again.

Minseok does the same then take a deep breath, “EXO dance studio” he said then sigh. “that must mean you’re about ready for side two”

Chanyeol with wide eyes turn his head to Minseok as soon as he heard the words. ‘wait, he knows?’ Chanyeol’s mind panicking.

Minseok with unreadable face said, “bye Yeol, take care of yourself” he starts to walk to get back inside the car. Chanyeol’s frozen on his spot, looking at Minseok’s back with wide eyes. His brain is thinking, ‘so that means, the vehicle who followed me is Minseok’s? Then the one who’ll be watching me is Minseok?’

** “see? I’ve heard so many stories about me now but I don’t know which one is the most popular. But I do know which is the least popular : the truth”**

Chanyeol ride back to his house. Once he arrived, he put his bike back in the garage. When he gets inside his house, all the lights have turned off. He saw his mom sleeping on the couch probably been waiting for Chanyeol. Chanyeol sigh as he make his way upstairs to his room, try to be as silent as possible not to wake his mom.

** “see, the truth isn’t always the most exciting version of things… or the best, or the worst. It’s somewhere in between. But it deserves to be heard and remembered. The truth will out, like someone said once. It remains”**

Chanyeol now lied on his back. He glance to the bedside table. He turns on the night lamp and saw the walkman near it. He took it then press the play button.

** “so, thankyou, Jongin. Sincerely. My very first kiss was wonderful”**

\---------

The morning starts, so does the school. Chanyeol walks into the building, looking at his surrounding but he felt like out of place. People talk with their friends or busy with their own worlds, but Chanyeol alone. He saw Junmyeon and Jongin talking to each other near the lockers.

“Choi wanted to see me about Kyungsoo” Jongin said, even if it’s with some kind of hushed tone, Chanyeol could still heard it as he walk a little near those two.

“probably about the fucking lawsuit” Junmyeon replied, then look at Chanyeol as he probably realize that Chanyeol might eavesdrop them. Jongin following Junmyeon’s eyes. Glaring at Chanyeol coldly as Chanyeol walking past them. Then a certain memory come.

_ “did you passed the first phase, Jongin?” Yifan clutching the athlete’s jacket as he cooed jokingly. The other guys around them laughing._

_ “get off I’m not saying anything” Jongin refused as he smiles embarrassed, he got a little blush as he take out his phone._

_ “phase two?” Yifan still teasing him._

_ “fuck off” Jongin push Yifan away, fingers fiddle with the phone._

_ “third?” he still tried as he’s so curious. _

_ “assholes” Jongin sigh defeated, “a prove could shut you up?” Jongin showed his phone to the guys, one of them gasped, while Yifan cooing louder._

_ “you did it in the dance studio? That’s hot” Yifan said, making Jongin smile proudly. He probably would be more proud once he could show Kyungsoo off to the guys later at their parties._

_ “oh yeah we’re definitely spread this around” Yifan said distance himself away from Jongin as he refuse what he showed to the guys to be spread around. Junmyeon holds Jongin so he can’t stop Yifan. The guys laugh, Chanyeol keep staring at them while he walks away._

_ Students start to enter the class as the bell rang. Kyungsoo on his seat taking the book out of his bag. Jongin walk behind his chair as he make his way to his own. Kyungsoo saw Jongin and send him a secret smile, only to find the boy avoiding eye contact with him. Kyungsoo smiles immediately fades as he still stares at the boy. Then he heard the sound of phone chimmed or vibrating one by one in the class. People starts to look at the message they received on their phone and several of them gasp in disbelief._

_ “oh my god Jongin, why would you send that?” one of the students, Wendy, threw a nasty look at Jongin, while Jongin himself lift his shoulders, try to look like he had no idea. The girl shows her phone to the friend beside her, she gasps and look at Kyungsoo in disbelief. The messages didn’t stop immediately so the teacher try to warn the students about their phone._

_ Kyungsoo confused and panicked. After everyone look at their phone, they look at Kyungsoo. They threw him the same nasty look, like he was the most disgusting thing in the world. Jongin keep avoiding the eye contact and Kyungsoo think it’s weird. He sits uncomfortably. Then he saw Junmyeon showed his phone to Jongin but the boy push the phone away, he look a little mad._

_ Kyungsoo turns to the only people he believed wouldn’t do the same as the students as his phone vibrates. He looks shocked, then he look at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo frowns and Chanyeol diverted his gaze to the table immediately. Kyungsoo never felt more sad as he tries to focus on the teacher’s voice._

** “what came after my first kiss? Not so wonderful”**

Chanyeol look at the empty seat near him as the memory ends. It was Kyungsoo’s. He regrets his reaction to Kyungsoo that day. If only he knew the truth back then. Chanyeol still staring at the seat, not focused at all to the teacher who warns them about doing homework. The bell rang and it’s time for lunch.

** “I’m not angry you betrayed me. I’m angry that I trusted you in the first place”**

“what the hell Minseok?” Chanyeol asks a little mad all of a sudden at Minseok who just sat there at the cafeteria, reading his book peacefully.

Minseok know that Chanyeol would question him so he just look at him calmly. “hey Chanyeol” in fact, he greets him casually as if nothing happened. He close his book as Chanyeol sit in front of him.

“what’s the deal? How do you fit in all of this?”

“I’m not on the tapes if that’s what you’re asking” he answer calmly make the eye contact with Chanyeol.

“did you helped him do it?” Chanyeol frustrated.

“no, I did not” Minseok still maintain his eye contact with Chanyeol.

“did you know that he’s going to—“

“—no”

“then how the hell did you—“

“listen to the tapes, Yeol” Minseok close the debate between them.

“is that all I’m gonna get?” Chanyeol frustrated even more.

“Kyungsoo wanted it to be done like this”

“how do you know?” Chanyeol confronts.

“I can’t tell you that. You have to listen” Minseok is actually tired to convince him to listen, but since Kyungsoo trust the job to him, he had to do it.

“what if I don’t?” he look at MInseok’s eyes desperately and adds “what if I can’t?”

“then it will only get worse, trust me”

“worse than Kyungsoo being dead?”

Minseok just look at him. He ran out of words to answer Chanyeol. He just want Chanyeol to listen to the tapes then his job will be easier, maybe. “I’ll see you around, Yeol” he excuse himself trying to escape from Chanyeol’s more questions.

“Minseok” Chanyeol called, making the said guy stops and turns to him. “am I on side two?” he asks half whispering but Minseok could still heard him. But instead of an answer, Minseok leaves him confused, alone at the table. He then stares at the seat in front of him, where Minseok sat was earlier.

_ “hey giraffe” Chanyeol look up when Kyungsoo call him by the nickname. The boy has his tray on his hand. “can I eat with you?” he asks._

_ “uhh I got geometry homework” Chanyeol hesitates. After what he saw on his phone, he felt angry and mostly disappointed at Kyungsoo._

_ “I don’t mind” Kyungsoo put his tray on the table and smiles at him. Chanyeol look away to hide his dislikes as the smaller boy sit in front of him. Maybe Chanyeol should ask Kyungsoo about the message that he got earlier. But judging by how obvious Kyungsoo at least to Chanyeol, got a big crush at the jock, maybe he didn’t need any explanation from Kyungsoo. Maybe he already lose. He won’t stand a chance against Kim Jongin. Girls and guys all over him. Of course, he’s athlete, he’s handsome, he’s rich, he’s popular, and Chanyeol’s nothing of all above. And most importantly, he always got what he wants, and Chanyeol always lose what he wants._

_ The rumors spread as soon as the video spread. And people talk, ‘oh god, the new boy hit the jackpot’, ‘oh wow what a slut, he turns Kim Jongin into gay?’, ‘ew, here I thought he looks so innocent’, ‘if I ask nicely, would he give me a piece of him like he does to Jongin?’, ‘why would he spread the video? Proud of being a slut?’, ‘shit, maybe I should ask Jongin, we could have threesome’, and so on. Chanyeol didn’t want to believe the rumors, but the video says it all._

_ “so… communication class, really?” Kyungsoo starts the conversation and chuckles. Chanyeol just staring down at his book. “Mrs. Lee doesn’t have a clue what it’s like to be on our age” he complains about their lesson earlier “I find the best to confront the issue I had by saying : pardon me, but you really hurt my feelings” he try to imitate the way Mrs. Lee explains in front of class. Which is cute, but Chanyeol didn’t have a mood to smile at that._

_ “but I thought that was a good idea” Chanyeol disagrees. He wanted to disagree at Kyungsoo at everything now, including his relationship with the jock right now._

_ Kyungsoo stares at Chanyeol, his mind thinking of how weird Chanyeol’s response to him. He sounded unmood and it isn’t like Chanyeol who would probably making fun of Mrs. Lee, so he decide to tease him. “have you ever in your life been able to confront the issue you had on?”_

_ Chanyeol keep staring at his book like he wanted to ignore Kyungsoo forever, so Kyungsoo won’t give up and tease him more. He lean just a bit closer and half whisper. “have you ever had an issue?”_

_ Chanyeol finally gave up and look at Kyungsoo, “yeah” he said then rolling his eyes at Kyungsoo. “kind of” he adds. “I think being socially awkward sometimes has it advantages” Chanyeol’s actually being sarcastic and addressed to the rumors that has spread. He thought maybe, if Kyungsoo stays being ‘not so social’, he wouldn’t have his video kissing with the jock spreads around school. If he stays being the Kyungsoo who’s usually quiet and only talk to few people including him, being the Kyungsoo who wouldn’t talk to the jock because he’s shy, he wouldn’t look like a ‘slut’ to the whole school. And should he blame Taemin for giving Kyungsoo the courage he never had before?_

_ “I don’t think you’re socially awkward at all” Kyungsoo disagree. Well he had seen the loud and annoying Chanyeol, probably all the time when they’re together.”I think you’re just scared” Kyungsoo adds. He thought Chanyeol could be famous for that personality of his, then he wondered, how can Chanyeol’s circle is only few, including the senior Donghae and him only. Turns out Chanyeol is kinda picky about friends. He only keeping those who make him comfortable._

_ “you’re single cause you probably waiting for the right time” he teased the taller boy even more with the sensitive subject he knows Chanyeol never like. Dating subject is always annoying to Chanyeol, then maybe if Kyungsoo brought it, he’d get the reaction of loud and whiny Chanyeol as usual, he missed that Chanyeol._

_ “_ _yeah but sometimes it’s better to wait” Chanyeol half snapped. Kyungsoo stares at him, it suddenly hits him._

_ “wow… okay, meaning what?” Kyungsoo without asking actually knew the answer, he just need it to be clearer that’s why he still ask. He remember Chanyeol told Kyungsoo not to rush things with Jongin and that he shouldn’t just trust the jock. Now the video of him and Jongin kissing spreads around the school, then he gets it. The whole time Chanyeol being unmood while responding to him, it must be because of the video. Then maybe Chanyeol now thought Kyungsoo is a slut too. _

_ Chanyeol unsure what to say, he stutters in his seat then cut off by Kyungsoo, “pardon me, but you really hurt my feelings” Kyungsoo said as he stands up, leaving his lunch and Chanyeol who soon felt guilty. He knows that last part wasn’t Kyungsoo trying to imitate Mrs. Lee again, he’s really hurt._

_ “Kyungsoo… Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol try to call Kyungsoo as the boy quicken his pace to leave the cafeteria immediately. ‘fuck’ Chanyeol swears internally. He felt stupid, he felt awful towards Kyungsoo. He should’ve asked Kyungsoo instead of believe in the rumors and judge him. He should’ve asked the story from Kyungsoo’s side. And that way maybe he wouldn’t hurt Kyungsoo’s feelings like the boy stated earlier._

** “a rumor based on a kiss ruined a memory that I hoped would be special. In fact, it ruined just about everything… as you’ll soon see”**

Chanyeol walk on the empty hallways few minutes before the bell would ring. After the talk with Minseok, he didn’t go to his next class. He hides in the library while thinking about the past that includes Kyungsoo. His guilt make it hard to even erase Kyungsoo from his mind. As Chanyeol kept walking, he saw Mr. Choi get out of the class and Kim Jongin follow behind. Chanyeol staring at Jongin as the said guy glaring at him while still following Mr. Choi.

** “and stick around, Jongin. I’m not through with you yet. I know you probably didn’t mean to let me down. In fact, most of you listening probably had no idea what you were truly doing, but you’ll find out”**

Chanyeol stop the walk and just staring at Jongin’s back who just keep following Mr. Choi, they probably would go to Mr. Choi’s office. Chanyeol is about to walk again when his eyes met Jongdae’s who’s probably been staring at him ever since he stopped outside the class he’s in, the same class that Jongin left earlier. But Jongdae quickly look away and turn his eyes on the teacher again.

Chanyeol turn around. It’s weird that he felt someone watching him. Then he saw Kyungsoo on the other side of the empty hallway. He wears a white shirt, smiles a bit. He looks beautiful. Chanyeol staring, tears began to well up as he saw Kyungsoo. Then the bell rang, the empty hallway starts to flood by students. Kyungsoo’s little smile disappear, so does the boy few seconds later. Chanyeol blinks, the vision of Kyungsoo suddenly replaced by students walking and talking around him. Chanyeol looks around, confused. ‘stop hallucinating’ his mind said.

The day has turns into night. Chanyeol’s supposed to study or working with the real homework. But instead, he’s looking at the walkman on his desk.

** “turn the tape over for more”**

Chanyeol grab the walkman, turns over the tape then wears the headset and press the play button.

\----------

Jongin walk out of Mr. Choi’s office and found the hallway almost empty. The school ends an hour ago. He checks his phone and found missed calls and texts from his cousin Junmyeon, his boyfriend Baekhyun, and the one and only Wu Yifan. He sighs, he probably should answer the text but he’s not in the mood. He walks to the parking lot and about to get inside his car when a voice call him.

“you’re in a rush?” Kim Minseok. Another Kim after Kim Jongdae who didn’t share the same blood at all with him. Sure they got the same last name, but Minseok is a nobody to him.

“nah, not really. Uhh… you need something?” not long after he asked, Minseok tossed him a cassette that Jongin catch in his hand easily.

“just wanna give you that and a little advice : listen by yourself and don’t tell any soul” Minseok explain, face unreadable.

Jongin look at the case and eyes go wide. ‘from Do Kyungsoo’ the description says on it. He glares at Minseok. “what the fuck? Is it a prank?” Jongin’s mad but Minseok only chuckles. “fuck you! Take it back!” Jongin throw the cassette back to Minseok and Minseok catch it.

‘this asshole’ Minseok groans internally. He walks closer to Jongin and grab him by his collar. “listen here, you punk!” he growls and Jongin suddenly scared. The rumors about Minseok is part of the gangster suddenly come up in his mind, shit, he could be murdered by him now. “I never been interested in making fun of someone that is dead, especially if that someone wanted me to give this to you as a reminder how fucking pathethic you are in this life, or do you choose to reveal your big secret inside this tape to the whole school? Cause I’m sure your dad would also like to listen to all of the shits his son made” threaten Minseok.

“m-my secret?”

“why? You think you could be an innocent jock? Did your dad knows about Baekhyun? Would your dad still believe whatever the shits Wu Yifan told your father just to cover the fact that you’re actually fucking gay?”

Jongin’s shaking. Not because he’s really terrified of Minseok’s physical, he could’ve punch Minseok too if he wants. But the things Minseok said sending shiver through his spines. His mind imagine his dad beat him up because of his sexuality, the probability of disowning him after he knows the truth. So Jongin accept the object when Minseok place it back in his hand. He lets out the breath he’s been holding for god knows how long after Minseok left.

He text his father to let him know that he’s not gonna go home, instead he’s going to the dance studio. He made up excuse that he’s gonna have a practice. Received no reply of protest, means his father doesn’t care, as long as Jongin didn’t made any trouble. He remembered back then that they argued about Jongin wanted to dance. His father thought dancing isn’t really a manly activity. Jongin convinced him by saying that it’s kinda trend now among kids at his age and he told him he wouldn’t do ballet. His father gave up then, he didn’t care much as long as Jongin didn’t do anything to ruin the Kim’s name in public.

He arrived at the studio. He told the owner, Key, that he’s gonna book a room for himself earlier before he gets here. He remember asking for a boom box or anything that could be use with cassettes. Luckily, Key got a boombox that he can use. He’s all alone now in the room. He take out the cassette that Minseok gave earlier. He set the volume enough for his ears only.

** “hey Jongin, it’s Kyungsoo, Do Kyungsoo”**

Jongin’s eyes wide. ‘what the fuck?’ Jongin swears internally. It’s really Kyungsoo’s voice and Minseok definitely didn’t prank him.

** “are you surprised? You must be. Never expected the dead guy talk to you again, right? Are you happy now that I’m gone? Please tell me you are”**

Jongin freeze in his spot. He never felt happy to know that Kyungsoo’s gone. The first thing he felt when he got the news is guilt. How he wanted Kyungsoo to open his eyes again to listen to his apology.

** “(sigh) I would like to see your reaction towards my voice now, especially about my death. Like I asked before, are you happy now?”**

“fuck! No, Kyungsoo, of course not” Jongin denies to the voice on the tape. But of course it’s useless, Kyungsoo would never be able to listen to whatever the apology he would rant.

** “Kim Jongin, don’t tell me you’re crying now. It doesn’t suit your jerk image that you always showed to everybody. Wipe the tears away, quick, before someone record you crying and spread it around the school and ruined your reputation. Like they did with mine”**

Jongin stares at the boombox. That’s the beginning of his nightmare at the school, of course the boy would never forget. All Jongin hoped ever since that day was to stop Yifan before he spread the video. But he was too coward to even snapped at the guy and defend their intimacy, keep Kyungsoo’s reputation remain good. It hasn’t been a month but Jongin already gave him hell before the boy has the chance to make any friends. He has the chance to be called ‘angel’ but again, Jongin cowardness ruined everything, so Kyungsoo was called ‘slut’. To Jongin, who known as the popular star athlete, with the protection of Yifan the school ruler, people wouldn’t make any big deal about his shits. But to Kyungsoo, the new meat, without any protection whatsoever, people could do anything worst to him, even if it means to label him as the slut.

** “do you remember now? Do you still thought that it doesn’t matter? Because Jongin, it does matter to me. Did you know the whole school labelled me as a ‘slut’? Oh right, you knew. But you choose to shut me up by calling me a drama queen”**

_ “Kim Jongin!” Kyungsoo shouts making Jongin a little choke on his drink while they have a break on their basketball practice._

_ “hey Kyungsoo, whats up?” Jongin casually said._

_ “whats up? What do you think is up?” Kyungsoo said with anger as he approach in front of Jongin._

_ “hey, can we help you little guy?” Yifan comes beside Jongin. The nickname of ‘little guy’ just make Kyungsoo even madder._

_ “who the fuck did you call little?” Kyungsoo glares at Yifan._

_ “oooh feisty, I like your guy” Yifan said nudging Jongin’s elbow._

_ “guys, if you could please excuse us” Jongin said as he dragged Kyungsoo out of the gym. The guys just nod their head as the couple continue to walk out of the room. Yifan watch them with a smirk._

_ “what the fuck is wrong with you?!” Kyungsoo shouts again._

_ “can you please calm the fuck down and tell me why did you shouts like that? My ears hurt”_

_ “seriously, Jongin, why did you do that? Why did you send the video to the whole school?”_

_ “for your information it’s only a few people in our communication class then they probably forward it to another student, and I’m not the who send it to them”_

_ Kyungsoo stares at Jongin in disbelief, how the fuck did Jongin could calm down, while Kyungsoo here panic, sad, embarrassed to be called as a slut. Specifically, Jongin’s slut._

_ “I don’t believe you. You’re the one who record us in the room. Why did you do that? Why should I trust you again?” Kyungsoo’s voice become shaky. Jongin look away, he actually felt guilty, he wanted to comfort Kyungsoo, but why the fuck did his ego reject it so much._

_ “he’s right, I’m the one who send it to people” suddenly Yifan’s behind Jongin. Eyes looking straight to Kyungsoo._

_ “why the fuck did you do that?!” Kyungsoo snapped._

_ “whoa chill, it’s just Jongin is so proud of himself that he kissed you, so I thought I just teach him a lesson not to be too cocky when it’s just a kiss, besides I want him to introduce you to the squad already, not keeping you away like a secret, so I decided to do that” he explains calmly._

_ “yeah Kyungsoo, chill. Stop being such a drama queen. Stick with me and they will forget it soon” Jongin said._

_ “what did you call me? Drama queen? Do you have any idea how I felt when the call me your slut? Jongin’s slut. They called me that as if I’m a prostitute or a sex toy you just bought from the store!” Kyungsoo spat._

_ “Kyungsoo, listen—“_

_ “—no, save it. I should’ve listen to Taemin when he warned me. You’re such a coward asshole who weren’t even able to admit his sexuality to his own father who would be ashamed in the future. And I shouldn’t have trusted you about the whole thing of ‘express myself to you’ when all you did was being a fake bitch” Kyungsoo then walks away, leaving a hurt and offended Jongin who still stares at him in disbelief. The lovely Kyungsoo he’s been crazy about these days just stab him in the heart with his sharp words._

_ “dude, let him go. He didn’t deserve you. I mean, stop dating a drama slut” Yifan said while squeezing his shoulder._

_ “yeah” Jongin agrees. He goes back to the gym with Yifan to continue their practice._

Jongin remember. How he wanted to turn back the time and snapped at Yifan instead of agreed with him. He shouldn’t have called Kyungsoo a drama queen. He should’ve apologized and stay there with him. He should’ve tried to fix the situation and potect him from those who called him slut.

** “the thing is, Jongin, I’m sorry. For what I’ve said. But I’m sorry too that I don’t know, two people in love and kissed could be such a shitty problem to the whole school. Well, at least for me. I remember how I got a lot of nasty stares and nicknames while nobody did that to you. I don’t even know that your dad would be so calm after the video spreaded”**

_ “Wu Yifan, you should come home with me” Jongin complains once he found Yifan in front of his locker._

_ “geez, sorry I’m straight” Yifan jokes._

_ “asshole! Explain the video to my dad”_

_ “why don’t you do it by yourself?” Yifan chuckles, hands still roaming inside his locker looking for god knows what._

_ “bitch, you’re the one who send the video and make the whole school watch, besides my dad would have believed you instead of me, his son” Jongin sigh._

_ “ugh fine” Yifan rolls his eyes but couldn’t deny since he felt responsible to what he did to Jongin._

_ When they arrived at Jongin’s house, they found his father sat on the couch, book on his hand, eyes moving to every word on the book._

_ “dad? Yifan’s here with me. We’ll do homework on my room” Jongin said to catch his father’s attention. Mr. Kim look up and saw Yifan with a smile._

_ “ah, Yifan. To what do I owe this pleasure?” Mr. Kim said, his treatment is always different towards Yifan. Of course, since he’s the son of the important collegue. Jongin rolls his eyes as always whenever his father said that to Yifan._

_ “Mr. Kim, didn’t the last time you told me that we were friends? Then why is the formality?” Yifan jokes._

_ “but you also keep calling me Mr. Kim” the father jokes back._

_ “well, I should keep my manner. Even if we are friends, you’re still older than me” Yifan politely jokes._

_ “see, Jongin? You should be more like him” here’s the part where Jongin hate the most. He’s always never good enough for his father if it compares to Wu Yifan._

_ “actually, Mr. Kim, there’s something I want to tell you” Yifan change the topic. Jongin’s grateful whenever Yifan does that, because if he doesn’t, his father would continue to compare him again and again._

_ “oh sure, what is it, son?”_

_ “about the video of Jongin that was spread around the school…” when Yifan started to mention that, Mr. Kim’s expression turns into serious as he nods, there’s a hint of dislikes in his face. And to be honest, if Jongin didn’t come with Yifan today, he would’ve snapped at Jongin and talk about the video._

_ “it was actually just a joke, the guys and I teased Jongin about the girl he likes since Jongin mentioned he’s been dreaming to kiss the girl. So we challenged him to have a practice with our friend, we record it as a joke, and since it was funny, I accidentally send it to few friends, which is probably forwarded to more students so it’s spreaded to the whole school” Yifan explained. Mr. Kim lift an eyebrow, face with questioning look._

_ “who’s the boy he kissed on the video? I never saw him before” asked Mr. Kim._

_ “it’s a new student, he’s gay but relax Mr. Kim, he didn’t have any crush with your son and neither Jongin, he didn’t even hang out with us anymore” Yifan replied calmly._

_ “really? Should I still be worried?”_

_ “ah , no Mr. Kim, everything’s fine. The whole school knows now that it was a joke so, it’s fine. Nothing’s gonna ruin the Kim’s reputation” Yifan smiles at the father as he assured him._

_ “very well then, you boys should probably do your homework now” his father dismissed them, soon they made their way upstairs to Jongin’s room._

_ “holy shit!” Jongin said as soon as Yifan close the door._

_ “I saved your ass, you’re welcome”_

_ “I won’t thank you, you’re the one who’s responsible, asshole!” Jongin throw him a pillow._

_ “hey! Sorry, okay?” Yifan throw the pillow back._

_ “yeah” he sighs as he sit on his study chair, then he frowns. Yifan look at him while he sat himself on the bed, making himself comfortable._

_ “what’s wrong dude?”_

_ “I just don’t know what to do with Kyungsoo now” Jongin said, the frowns even deeper._

_ “dude, didn’t I told you to let him go? You heard what he said. He should’ve understand that it’s not so easy for us jocks to reveal our sexuality like that. If he cares about you, then he shouldn’t have said that” Yifan try to comfort Jongin, he only got a sigh as a response._

_ “oh come on, you’ll move on. You’re handsome, there’s still so much fish on the sea” Yifan chuckles._

_ “I’m handsome? I thought you’re straight” Jongin laughs._

_ “should I be gay to compliment my brother?” Yifan also laughs._

_ “no, keep being straight, so the cute and hot guys could be mine”_

_ “ew gay” Yifan jokes._

_ “shut up, I’m still mad at you”_

_ “I’ll treat you chicken tomorrow” Yifan offers, he knows Jongin won’t resist chicken._

_ “fine. I’ll forgive you” Yifan only chuckles at that._

** “unlike you, I don’t have anyone to back me up with my story. Unlike you, once being labelled, I won’t be able to take it off. But, Jongin, I don’t want to talk about us anymore. It’s boring isn’t it? Since ‘us’ never happened. Why don’t we talk about you and Baek?”**

Jongin’s phone rings, he look at the ID and saw his boyfriend’s name. He didn’t pick it up and let the phone lay on the floor. It keeps ringing as Baekhyun keep calling, few seconds later, it stops.

** “you do know how’s my friendship with him, don’t you? And you made dating him like the best revenge on me”**

_ Jongin scanned the crowd for almost like five minutes now, looking for his team mates who were supposed to stay on their spot when he excused himself to get a drink earlier. Actually, he would like to stay home and sleep. But Yifan convinced him to go to the winter formal when the taller guy told him they’d go together as a team, no partners included which Yifan mentioned as ‘bros squad having fun’ . But there he is, standing awkwardly in the middle of the crowd scanning his team mates. He succeeded to found some of them only to see them having fun grinding their bodies with girls on the dance floor. He sighs, then his eyes spots someone he’s been crushing on for weeks._

_ “hey Baekhyun” Jongin approach the pretty guy among the crowd when he talk to his friends. The pretty guy turn around to Jongin and give him a smile._

_ “hey Jongin, what’s up?”_

_ “uh nothing, you look…” Jongin trails off as he start to stares at Baekhyun. _

_ “stunning, gorgeous, shining, fabulous, hard to resist?” Baekhyun tease and smirk._

_ “you do like to compliment yourself that much” Jongin chuckles. “but I agree, you’re definitely all of the above”_

_ “thankyou, you wanna dance?” Baekhyun offers, making Jongin’s face lit up._

_ “sure” he smiles and guides Baekhyun to the dance floor. They’re dancing, jumping and laughing to each other. Having fun and telling jokes to each other’s ears. As the music turns into the romantic one, people starts to hold their partners close. Dancing romantically as if it was a royalty ball. Jongin and Baekhyun look at each other, then Jongin chuckles. Offering his hand to Baekhyun without a word. But it was obvious to him that Jongin asked him to dance, so he takes his hand._

_ Their bodies close to each other. Eyes staring into each other. Their face is so close. Finally Jongin close the gap between them and crash their lips together. The kiss was slow and sweet. Some people around them murmuring things. Jongin manage to heard something. “aww they’re cute” Jongin smiles to the kiss._

_ He saw all of it. How Jongin approach Baekhyun. The blush and the smiles he have. The obvious love in his eyes. The fun they’re having. The sweet kiss they shared. Kyungsoo could only smiles sadly. He’s happy for them, really. Happy for Baekhyun, someone who used to be his friend._

** “congratualtions, though. It hurts me. People would threw me a nasty look while they cooed over how sweet you both. But am I jealous? Am I gonna ruining your happiness? Funny how you both always look at me as if I would do that. I might be a slut, according to the whole school, but I’m not a bad person. Not to someone I still care for”**

Jongin’s phone rings again. Baekhyun didn’t stop to call him. He sighs and gave up. He pause the tape and pick up the call.

“god, Jongin, finally! Are you okay?” Baekhyun sounds worried.

“yeah, I’m fine. Sorry I was just asleep”

“god, you make me worried. How’s the talk with Mr. Choi?”

“it’s cool. He was just asking me about my relationship with Kyungsoo. I just told him what needed to be told”

“really? You’re okay?”

"geez, I’m fine. Stop worrying Baek. He wouldn’t know anything else”

“fine, if you say so. I missed you” he heard Baekhyun sighs.

“I miss—“

“Baekkie, who do you talking to?” Jongin’s reply got cut off when he heard Baekhyun’s dad over the phone. “it’s not that Jongin kid, isn’t it?” Jongin sigh and went silent. He knew how much Baekhyun’s parents dislike him, especially his dad.

“no, dad, of course not. It’s just Tao. You’ve met him, right?” Baekhyun lied.

“oh sure, I like that Tao kid. Just don’t ever hang out with someone who hid you from his parents like that Jongin kid. Those Kim people, they thought they’re better than anyone to be so selective about friends” he heard Mr. Byun rant about his hates towards his family, the voice a little faint, which he could assumes that Mr. Byun has left Baekhyun’s room. He then heard Baekhyun sighs again.

“Jongin?”

“I’m here, Baek”

“I’m sorry about my dad”

“it’s fine, he’s right about me though, about my dad”

“hey, you know I love you. I won’t leave you. And if you needed more time to tell your dad, I’ll wait”

“thanks, Baek. I love you too” there’s silent after Jongin said that. Then he clears his throat. “I uhh should hang up, I need to call Jun” he excuse. Baekhyun bid him goodbye over the phone and he hangs up.

He looks back at the boombox and sighs. He should continue to listen, right?

** “so Jongin, here’s the thing. I forgive you for everything you did, and I’ve let you go. It’s hard. But holding onto something or someone I could never had, even harder. So after this tape, i want you to live to be a better person. Not for me, because it’s too late and I’m dead. But for Baek. Our friendship might had been broke. But I don’t want him to be the next me. Eventually abandoned just because your fear of a little secret you hide from your dad. I want you to be responsible. I want you to treat him right. I want you to admit to the whole world that he belongs to you. Without being scared of the judgement about who you really are. Because, Jongin, even without dancing, you could have the freedom to express youself. Only if you choose not to be a coward. Can you do that?”**

**\--------**

Jongin pack his bag while sobbing. He didn’t pay much attention which clothes he packed. At least his school supplies gets into the bag. He could still heard his father yelling at him downstairs telling him to hurry up. He kicked Jongin out of the house.

His father beats him up earlier after his confession about his sexuality. It started after he finished listening to the tape. He decided to go home and tell his dad. ‘fuck the consequences’ he had said on the way to go home. As predicted, his father lash out his anger after he confessed.

_ “what the fuck did you said?” his father grab him by the collar._

_ “I said I’m fucking gay, you hear me? Your son, Kim Jongin is a fucking gay!” Jongin yelled, eyes glaring at his father._

_ “how dare you!” his father punched Jongin’s face, that fist lands perfectly on Jongin’s cheek so hard. Making Jongin fell on the ground. The son was a sobbing mess after that. While the father look at him with disgusted expression._

_ “you’re not my son. Don’t you fucking dare to carry a Kim name with you. You’re an embarrasement to the family. Get the fuck out of my house you fag!” he kicked Jongin’s stomach hard then left him there._

He dial his friend’s number while wiping his tears. After some ringing, his friend finally pick up.

“Jongin?”

“hey Sehun, can I stay in your house for a couple of days. I promise I’ll get out as soon as I got another place”

“yeah sure, I think my dad wouldn’t mind though. But are you okay?”

“yeah, I’m okay. I’ll tell you later when I get there. Thanks” he hangs up then go to downstairs.

He saw his father waiting for him near the door. Jongin could only guess that probably he’s gonna tell him to never show his face in front of him anymore.

“don’t you fucking dare to show your face to me anymore, you pice of shit! If anyone asking, you’re not my son. Because I’m fucking sure, your mother would even be ashamed on her grave”

Jongin only glare at his father as he brought up his dead mother. He wanted to yell at him and say that his mother would be proud of him for standing up and admitting his true sexuality. But he didn’t say anything. All he wanted was to get the fuck out of this hell as soon as possible.

Jongin left the house without looking back. He call a cab to get him to Sehun’s house. As soon as he gets in the cab. He close his eyes, only to remember the last thing Kyungsoo said on the tape.

** “so that’s all I wanted to tell you. Don’t worry though, you’re gonna hear from me soon. But for now, goodbye Kim Jongin”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaargghhhh i don't know what i wrote :') anyway in case y'all wondering, everytime Chanyeol finished a tape, the character Kyungsoo's talking about will receive a different tapes from Minseok, contain Kyungsoo's own message to the character. also woops so much Kaisoo in here, huh? :D and i know i know, the story still kinda the same like in the show :( but i'll try harder to improvise. and sorry if there's bad grammar, english isn't my first language :') btw thankyou so much for reading, leave me your thoughts on comment if you'd like :) ilysm <3333333

**Author's Note:**

> hello. it's my first time to share a story here lmao please go easy on me TT.TT i'm a fan of 13 reasons why series tho and kinda hyped of the new season xD that's why i made this au for EXO lol. and i know that almost the whole chapter is the same like the series, but the story of every characters will also be different from the series, don't worry. so please, tell me how do you like it? leave a comment about your thoughts? tysm <333333


End file.
